photography


How do you pick up what you dropped off…

How do you find your voice when you don’t speak…

How do you move forward when you barely can get yourself out of bed…

I guess you start where you are, if this is what you want. One word tap at a time not looking forward, backward or making excuses (to or against) and you just do. Even if you tap from bed 🙂 So I am starting with where I recently was… Rhinebeck!

Rhinebeck this year was a bit of a let down, and that was all my fault. I learned the rough lesson that one of my good friends from grad school is extremely self-absorbed and not trust worthy or thankful. But her being inconsiderate and flaking at the last moment didn’t mean I should flake on my preferences. It was fucking gorgeous. And I didn’t want to be around her anyways, yarn people would be better!

So I drove up through the GORGEOUS Hudson Valley pissed (excepting the moment where scanning radio stations I came upon FLASHDANCE and sang out loud with the windows open not caring I was alone). Only I got to the fairgrounds still irritated, feeling lonely. A veritable Little Miss Crabbypants as I wasn’t going to get to see Scout, I realised on the drive up that I hadn’t gotten Ann’s contact info so had no way to find her either, and I didn’t know if I would be able to track down Claudia and Silvia. I had no one to hang with and look at all the gorgeous leaves. I also had JUST missed the Punkin Chuckin… Yes that would be pity party of one called to her table. But walking around I ran into Kate (we both did double takes as well we aren’t supposed to “randomly” run into each other on *this* continent). And then Buckaroo decided to come out and play (what like we didn’t know I have multiple personalities :)) so I went straight to the animal stalls with my camera. I decided to stop wallowing in my one person pity party and try to make the best of things (one day I HAVE to learn how to use the camera cause the burning hot it is annoying the hell out of me!).

This wasn’t hurt by the fact that shortly thereafter I got a big fluffy pretzel with garlic and cheese. And then I got a text from Claudia and Silvia. YAY!!! Not all was lost. I was not going to be alone in the sea of knitting friends. I love my favorite redheaded sisters and I WAS going to get to see them 🙂 And next time I AM going to remember to take a picture of all three of us!! We chatted, I got to see a ribbon winning photo (as well as print- which I think I might try printing some of my photos thanks to Miss Inspiration herself). I even heard about the Hello Kitty yarn 🙂

And then they had to start the drive home, so I went on my way to go wander the yarn barns to see if I could eke out a purchase. While I couldn’t buy much yarn (when your travel costs bump 100%, your shopping budget goes poof!) I did get yarn. While last year I was entranced by Brooks Farms I saw nothing that pulled me in that I could tie to a project. And right now… nothing comes into this house without a project. But I did fall in love with one booth. Botanical Shades. And I got two yarns that I think I am going to really like (one is likely to become a Gretel. I saw a girl wearing on all day and DUDE I soooooo want it- I even finally bought the damn pattern; the other I might be getting more and make it into a sweater :)).

So there was my Rhinebeck. Rhinebeck of leaves and lambies… Until next year!

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I am still settling a lot of these things inside of me. Not a box of rocks rattling obnoxiously anymore, but there are some rocks that need to stop rolling.

This time it is a bit more than bittersweet, as this time when I left Paris… I left with all my belongings. This trip was to clean out the storage unit and really MOVE myself forward into the present. No more saying I am adjusting. This is where it is at and where I am. Time to be in the now. I know it had to be done, I even know that it is good that I did it (I should have done it 6 months ago as a matter of fact), but that doesn’t mean I wanted to. But limbo is not a good place for me, and swinging around for la vie en rose isn’t productive either. So a year later I am closing that door for the time being. Paris will always be a part of me, I still am there at least 2-3 times a year on average, and I will live there again, I dont doubt that at all… but for now I am not grounded there with my things, just my friends. At the same time I am not 100% grounded in NYC, but I am trying to move it forward.

That said the best part of my trip was catching up with my friends. Sometimes you forget how rejuvenating certain people in your life are to you. To be there with people that I know know me and love me for me. As I bounce around the planet and they do too, we all realise with those who matter and how much that community and its acceptance can mean to you. To recharge to feel like you FIT (like that perfect little black dress you have does or how that “designed for you” sweater does) makes a girl happy. The battle is just to remember, that there are those people in your life. And that despite whatever you might think… They like you. Yes Mikey they really do, and on top of that they know you too and they still LIKE YOU.

And then there is a back that is finished. Actually there is a back and one of the fronts that is finished with the last front started. But I cant really make them more interesting than I will make them when they are all in one pile and done (knitting photos leave me a little confounded sometimes). In the final knitting stretch now. Luckily for sweater possibilities, mother nature and the weather fairy seem incapable of taking their pills like the rest of us and the weather has been of a schizophrenic nature… so if I can manage to get my act together I could plausibly by next week have a finished knit to figure out how I am going to block and then force myself to seam up.

And for those interested a few small photos from Kobenhavn :

I should have known better, but no time seems to be a good time that gives me enough time to blog anymore. I have a backlog from Rhinebeck time (which I went to with the Silvia and Claudia- ever so grateful for the impetus and bad influences 🙂 But since I don’t have too much time (Thanksgiving and all that approaching) I will go forward with some more (non knitting) photos. See I was gone for a little over 2 weeks to Kenya for work and then my own safari… here are a handful of some of the first round of photos I have processed (larger size- cause I am not sure which size I want to use on the blog…).

Me and My New Friend

Laugh Like A Hyena

Citta or Cheetah

Zebra Arse

Dumbo

I Am Talking To You Buddy

Intensity

One Scape

Sunset in the Mara
Next up knitting I promise… I have socks to show and I should start knitting a fall sweater too!

Lead Me Into The Desert

Some Eye Candy until I can get my act together and figure out how to manipulate this bugger, as well as decide if I am FidgetyKnitting or FidgetyGirl… Deep stuff going on over here 🙂

And if you managed to find me… I encourage you to discuss among yourselves!